When on the sandy shore I sit,
Beside the salt sea-wave,
And fall into a weeping fit
Because I dare not shave—
A little whisper at my ear
Inquires the reason of my fear.
I answer, "If that ruffian Jones
Should recognize me here,
He'd bellow out my name in tones
Offensive to the ear:
He chaffs me so on being stout
(A thing that always puts me out)."
Ah me! I see him on the cliff!
Farewell, farewell to hope,
If he should look this way, and if
He's got his telescope!
To whatsoever place I flee,
My odious rival follows me!
For every night, and everywhere,
I meet him out at dinner;
And when I've found some charming fair,
And vowed to die or win her,
The wretch (he's thin and I am stout)
Is sure to come and cut me out!
The girls (just like them!) all agree
To praise J. Jones, Esquire:
I ask them what on earth they see
About him to admire?
They cry, "He is so sleek and slim,
It's quite a treat to look at him!"
They vanish in tobacco smoke,
Those visionary maids—
I feel a sharp and sudden poke
Between the shoulder-blades—
"Why, Brown, my boy! You're growing stout!"
(I told you he would find me out!)
"My growth is not your business, sir!"
"No more it is, my boy!
But if it's yours, as I infer,
Why, Brown, I give you joy!
A man whose business prospers so
Is just the sort of man to know!
"It's hardly safe, though, talking here—
I'd best get out of reach:
For such a weight as yours, I fear,
Must shortly sink the beach!"—
Insult me thus because I'm stout!
I vow I'll go and call him out!
Read the following lines from the poem.
And when I've found some charming fair,
And vowed to die or win her,
The wretch (he's thin and I am stout)
Is sure to come and cut me out!
The author uses a hyperbole in the lines above to
A.
create a jubilant atmosphere.
B.
emphasize Brown's determination.
C.
suggest how wonderful Jones is.
